If you've ever been in love, you likely know all too well the butterflies, the dry mouth, the pounding of the heart, even the excitement that borders on nervousness.
There are a lot of emotions that go along with this drive - jealousy, guilt, anxiety, memories, thoughts - but it's a basic mating drive that evolved millions of years ago to allow you to focus your mating energy on one person. So although love is commonly thought of as this fluffy, sentimental thing, it's actually a survival mechanism, says Fisher. Of course, thirst and hunger are basic drives that keep you alive, so the fact that romantic love resides in this same area of the brain suggests that romantic love, too, isn't conscious, but rather a basic drive that compels you to "seek a partner, fall madly in love, and send your DNA into tomorrow," she says. "What's interesting about this little brain factory is that it lies near the base of the brain, way below the cortex where you do your thinking… it lies next to the factory that orchestrates thirst and hunger," says Fisher. The released dopamine is behind the motivation to be near your loved one, the craving and obsessive thinking about them when they're not around, and, ultimately, that intense feeling that is associated with romantic love. In turn, that dopamine does what dopamine does best: It rewards your brain with feel-good thoughts and feelings. This part of the brain "produces dopamine, a natural stimulant, and sends that dopamine to many other brain regions," she says. (Related: What It Really Means to Have Sexual Chemistry with Someone)ĭuring Fisher's research using the brain scanner, when the participants were shown a photo of their lover, the ventral tegmental area of the brain lit up.
That's because, at the end of the day, it's the personality of the person, in addition to what you have in common, that clicks.
Of course, as Fisher explains, you can walk into a room and everyone in there can meet that general criterion and you won't fall in love with any of them, at first sight, or otherwise. "We tend to fall in love with people from similar backgrounds, socioeconomic classes, those who have the same values, aspirations, looks, and even reproductive goals." "We tend to fall in love with people under circumstances," says Fisher. Although you may think that falling in love might involve a specific formula - step one is a great first date, step two is getting physical, and so on - that's actually not how it works.
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